The Yoga of Being a Badass Mom

It comes up again and again, the physical practice of asana sometimes deteriorates when you become a parent. There is so much personal time that one gives up as the journey of understanding another human being begins. It took two whole years to get my mula bandha back after giving birth to MoJo.

So last night after a yoga teacher meeting, my feathers were a little ruffled by hearsay. Some young, male teacher at some workshop somewhere apparently espoused the view that mothers could not truly practice yoga thoroughly because the responsibilities of parenthood would not allow them to go to their "man-cave" and meditate on the nature of being ... much less get their physical practice in.

First of all, whatever form the comment took, it reinforces gender stereotypes. My family works hard not to do that. My husband is an absolute angel for giving me plenty of time to work two jobs and follow my yoga passion. He cooks dinner most of the time, takes our little girl to school, and many times puts her to bed. He even scrubs the tub and toilet every once in awhile. In many ways - though he doesn't practice asana - he is a better yogi than I for taking up much of the parenting duty. I actually get my me-time to contemplate the world and my role in it.

Second, parenting is the ultimate yoga. It is uncomfortable and scary, and you must confront it head on. You must always be in the moment, expecially because that is where your toddler is. You must work hard to apply ahimsa (non-violence in action and thought), satya (truth), asteya (non-covetousness), aparigraha (non-possessiveness), saucha (cleanliness), santosha (satisfaction with what one has), tapas (inner fire and discipline), pranayama (breath control), dharana (concentration on one object), dhyana (steadfast medication or undisturbed flow of thought), and samadhi (oneness with that object). That last one is the hardest, especially when you're trying to reach through a temper tantrum. I could go on, but I think it's clear that these are not only ways to maintain a healthy connection with one's child but also life skills that the child will pick up with observation.

Third, my daughter and I have been practicing asana together since she was in the womb. We did urdhva dhanurasana and hanumanasana together. We survived labor. We did postnatal yoga together, and I would practice pranayama to get her to fall asleep to my deep breaths when she was cranky. We play airplane together now and practice walking up the wall into handstands and headstands. The little two-and-a-half-year-old did her first bow yesterday! And she loves practicing ujayi breathing ... though she loves devolving into pretending that she is snoring. I'd still call that pranayama, though.

It all boils down to new teachers vs. old teachers; we all know that we know nothing ... But, unless you're an old soul, that fact just seems like theory at the beginning. Sometimes we think we've touched enlightenment, because we've worked so hard to practice and learn. I was - and probably still am - guilty of pronouncing things as truth, when I may not know all there is to know about the subject. And, if I'm completely honest with myself, I should wonder why people come to me to learn what they already know deep down. What makes me an authority? Possibly, I'm a teacher not because I know more about the things we all know intrinsically, but because I have devoted time to the practice.