“Fucking ignore the system, use it when it suits you.”
“Don't accept the old order. Get rid of it.”
“Do not stand in the middle, go to the right or to the left.”
“You'll find that empty vessels make the most sound.”
– Johhny Rotten of the Sex Pistols
The first three, valid. The fourth, funny.
I wonder at these nascent stages why I am blogging. I’m actually a pretty private person … or was, until Facebook, Twitter, the explosion of newsletters and blogs in the yogasphere. And, I know there is a certain amount of idealism that I harbor: I expect people to treat each other with respect; I expect ethics; I particularly love the yamas and niyamas of yoga; I feel like more people need to sacrifice toward the common good in order to achieve the path to happiness. Greed, racism and related bigotry are so rooted in lack of self-respect, external locus of control, and ignorance that it should be a lot easier for us as a society to fix these issues. Yes, I want to change the world. Yes, I want people to eat better, do yoga (or any other regime for mental and physical health), meditate, spread love and oxytocin. My brother thinks I’m going to disappoint myself greatly when reality sets in and maybe even have a nervous breakdown, because my passion about these issues scares him. But I’m no fool, I work for the state in my full-time job, I see the financial shell game, the apathy of disenfranchisement, the career ladder climbing that keeps real work from getting done.
I’m not naïve, I’m idealistic. There is a difference.
And I wonder, when I blog, how do I weave these things together into a coherent whole? State employee who struggles with her job … it is public health after all, and I should be succeeding in helping people grow healthier and more in control of their lives. But, I see little immediate evidence of that. I see long-term evidence, yes, that’s what epidemiology is all about. But, working in public health just doesn’t achieve that everyday evidence of well-being that I witness after I teach a yoga class - when my students leave with a dazed smile and healthy glow.
And, I’m a little punk rock. Resistance - and shock value - is necessary. One of my dreams is to create vigilante stencils and spray paint beauty and commentary on our ugly, concrete world. My first project is going to be a road kill stencil (mainly because it would be easiest and stealthiest). I’m sick and tired of seeing dead raccoons, ‘possums and squirrels at a stop sign intersection. Pleeeeeeeeze, you were or should have been at a complete stop! Get out of your opaque bubble into the present for a moment and watch before you put your foot on the gas pedal. But I digress … a little. That dream would be furthered more easily if I were to move to an f-ing ugly town and beautify it one vigilante step at a time. Yoga and art, working together to make people stop and be in the present as they bumble through this world.
And then there is the long-term dream to be an author, to write a dystopia (or two). So, I’m going to start adding book reviews in here … the written word that inspires me. I’m all over the place with my reading, some fiction, some nonfiction, some contemporary, or classics I should have read or did read too young and have since forgotten. My reading cannot really be categorized, except that there will be a few extra dystopias in the mix just to see what has been done before.
